With deep pain in my heart and the saddest I have ever been this ride was so hard to do but so important to do. My Dear Mamasan, passed away yesterday! I was not prepared for this and having a hard time accepting it, She was my everything, my greatest cheerleader, has always been there for me no matter what stupid, dumb or even mean thing I did always with all her love and support. The last 2 months after I told her I was going to race again and had big plans she was 100% behind me. Everyday, she would tell me she was going to financially support me in any and all ways that she could. She wanted to make sure my dreams could come true and she was there to do all she could for. I would tell her not to worry, I got this! Everyday she wanted me to know she was there for me. If you ever met my Mamasan, you would understand how she was. For over a year, I cooked dinner for her, she would tell me how much she loved my cooking! I took pride in making her happy and wanted to keep her as healthy as I could with the meals I cooked. Never again, can I cook dinner for her nor can I do anything for her! I am so sad and broken hearted. She was looking forward to making Japanese Rice Balls for my next race, which I will never again enjoy nor see her glowing face when she gives them to me. Never did I think my Mamasan would leave me like this... the tears are flowing and I can barely see what I am writing and keep my thoughts straight. I do apologize if I am not making sense. We can not chose what adventure life brings our way, all we can do is take the ride and make the best of it.
My ride tonight was difficult not only in the effort I tried to maintain but to not fall into overwhelming remorse and tears thru the ride. Thoughts would come and I had no control over them. I wasn't sure how long I was going to ride but realized, my sister said there was something we had to do, and I thought I was heading out much earlier and once out there I saw the time so I had to go shorter which was perfect. It was breezy just enough to make you work but not so much that it affected my effort. It was a really great day to ride... be safe out there and enjoy your ride and see you on the next great adventure my friend!