Captain Morgan narrowed his eyes as ten piratical riders signed up for the voyage : “Mad Dog” Hayes, Woodford of the six tattoos, Bosun Green, “Mayhem” Mayhew, Sandra of the Seven Seas, Deadly Dave pieman, Cutlass Cully, “Three Fingers” Kinsey, “Wild Man” Westwood and Black Beard Brian Lindsay. He addressed them thus : ”One false move you scurvy dogs and it’s the plank”. The course was set due west through Denham and then squaring away to Crumbs at C St P for morning whittles, where Angela Kemp the Hemp Temptress signed on and Terry the Terror of Taylor Woodrow and Tartary joined us and whispered some advice : “Steer small and avoid the sirens lurking east of the church”. Road works at the head of Welders Lane meant that we had to contend with only two oncoming cars – we navigated the traffic at the Beaconsfield roundabout, over the motorway and on the pavement round to Burnham Road – good haul up Green Common Lane but then a massive muddy pond to circumvent ( Cull through the middle) – over the bridge into Cookham and a sharp left through the pub garden onto the Thames tow path – Sandra sailed for home here as she was crossing the Channel that night - a bumpy track taken slowly till The Bounty hove into view – welcome haven – pints of Rebellion and ship’s tucker while we watched all the walkers and dog owners and pondered the charts to home. A “hack” across Cock Marsh to the foothills of Winter Green and then the course set back through Cookham, down Mill Lane and onto the Thames path all the way to Maidenhead. Just before the skipper’s “nobby lecture” on the Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s amazing rail bridge, “Mad Dog” Hayes pretended to have a soft tyre to avoid it all ! What a lead swinger! Great run back along the Thames with excitement mounting at we neared Boveney and the 12th century waterman’s church of St Mary Magdalene, but again Hayes nearly scuppered it all by disappearing ! Volunteers were called for to go back and assist him and “Three Fingers” Kinsey and “Black Beard” Lindsay were up for the task – the rest of the crew enjoyed the tranquillity of the church, plain and simple like the lives of the many souls that had been christened, married and buried there over the centuries. We reflected on how lucky we have been to live in the present era. On to the great view of Windsor Castle from the east suddenly appearing through the trees and so to the Waterman’s Arms at Eton. Here, over more grog, some of the crew muttered mutinously about the length of the run : “Tis already 35 sea miles by my reckoning Cap’t and another 11 to get back to home port”. Stifling a desire to run them through the gizzards, Morgan promised to have his map wheel recalibrated and his sextant overhauled. And so home ...... a goodly crew and great fun